Moms of Littles – Core Beliefs

Disclaimer (in case you missed Part 1): My fear is that by writing practical advice to moms, people will think that I am essentially saying, “I’m a perfect mom, my kids are perfect, and my way is the only right way.” I am certainly not a perfect mom. I was not a perfect mom when my children were little. And my children? Well, they are not perfect either. This series will be a testimony of sorts based on my experience as a mother and an educator. You may be able to take some ideas and apply them to your own motherhood journey and you may not. My way is definitely not the only way.

Hey there! I’m glad you’re back for Part 2 in the Moms of Littles series. Thank you for such amazing feedback about Part 1. The comments I received on the Facebook post encouraged me, a confirmation that writing this series was exactly what I was supposed to do. Speaking of that, I promised I would explain what led me to write the series in this post…

Over the last year, the Lord has really been working in my heart about what I call “investing.” I have been prompted to get out of my comfort zone and invest in others, both in my church and in my sphere of influence in the world. I have also considered the idea of what I call Biblical Mentoring found in Titus 2:3-5.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

It seems there isn’t much Biblical Mentoring going on today—in my church or in other churches across the country. After thinking about that for some time, I’ve decided there are several possibilities that have made the concept more difficult.

We are too busy!

Older women are still learning the “first principles (Hebrews 5:12)” when they should be teaching.

Older women are afraid of their advice being taken the wrong way (raising my hand—remember the disclaimer?).

Younger women are too independent or prideful (ouch, I know—but I have been there) to be taught.

We don’t put ourselves in the position to teach or be taught. We stay within our social circles with people in the same season of life. We don’t take opportunities to form new friendships outside of those “comfort zones.”

Whatever the reasons, I think the decline in Biblical Mentoring gives Satan an advantage when attacking young Christian women and their families. I’m thankful that when I was first married, at the very young age of 18, there were Christian women in their 20s with young children that befriended me. I learned a lot from watching those women. Biblical Mentoring does not have to be some weird, official thing where we sit down and say, “I’m going to teach you a thing or two…” or “Will you mentor me?” It is simply about forming friendships with older women and being willing to say something like, “I’m struggling with this. How did you handle it?” And the older women forming friendships with younger women and being able to say, “I’ve been there. Let me tell you about it.”

All of that to say, I’m writing this series because I know there might be a young mom who needs some encouragement! I see young women struggling, exhausted, and under Satan’s attack. I’m simply trying to say, “I’ve been there. Let me tell you about it.”

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let’s get to the subject of this post.

Core Beliefs

I can’t tell you more about my motherhood journey until we talk about my core beliefs about motherhood*. It is those core beliefs that shaped and continue to shape the decisions we make regarding our children.

*While these are my core beliefs about motherhood, we could also say parenthood because Marc and I have both had an active role in raising our children.

As a mom, I believe…

• My children are blessings from the Lord. He has entrusted Marc and I to raise them for His honor and glory. We desire, above all else, to foster a love for the Lord and a relationship with Him that continues when they leave our home.
• My children are not and have never been “my life”—even though I put their needs above my own. They are not the center of our home. Christ is the center of our home. With that in mind, Marc and I invest time in one another and make decisions to keep our marriage (and thus our family) strong.***We are actually looking forward to our soon to be empty nest. That does not mean that we will not miss our kids! To me, it proves that we have kept our relationship paramount all these years and we will not be strangers trying to rekindle a dead marriage after the kids move out. It also shows that we followed our core beliefs (see next one).***
• It is our responsibility to train our children to be independent, responsible, respectful, productive members of society.

As I said previously, the decisions we made and continue to make are based on these core beliefs. You have core beliefs about motherhood too. You might not realize it, but you do. Yours may be similar to mine or they may be drastically different. It is important that you recognize your core beliefs about motherhood otherwise it is way to simple just to do the “easy” thing or the thing with the least resistance at the time. Believe me…I know.

And that is where we’ll pick up with Part 3. 😊

Take some time to think about your core beliefs. You don’t even have to write them down. What do you want your kids to be like? What do you value? What do you want to foster in your kids? What is your ultimate goal for them upon leaving your home?

P.S. If you missed Part 1 – The Baby Years, click here.

P.S.S. I’m anticipating Part 3 and 4 will be the most personal and therefore difficult posts for me to write. It may take me some time to put my thoughts together, but stay tuned!

Part 3 – Terrible 2s or is it 3s?
Part 4 – Discipline